Merry Christmas a few days late. Hope you all had a lovely one and are planning super fun New Years celebrations. Instead of a Christmas special this year I have a new blog. It’s a behind the scenes blog for Mhalwae, which I have been planning to make for an age but haven’t had time.

So you will stop seeing me posting this sort of thing on Mhalwae which will not be reserved for only the story, but you can find my musings and updates at Behind the curtain (there’s a link in the sidebar). See you there!

Haven’t been able to write any new posts for a while… the PhD write up is sucking away my creativity and time. Less than a month till I hand it in though! Hurrah! I just have to finish it before then. And then defend it in December, but I am anticipating less stress when the thesis is done. Then I just have to format it and get it printed. And write a talk. But I have seven weeks to do all that. So yay.

In my lunch breaks and on some evenings I have been able to collect together some of the storylines from Mhalwae. If you want to check it out they are in the sidebar under storylines. So far there are three but I am slowly working on getting them all up there.

Hope you’re all well!

Here’s what’s happening. I’m trying to write up my PhD which is why the posts on Mhalwae have been few and far between. I am also heading home to Australia tomorrow (stopping over in Singapore to eat huge amounts of delicious noodles) to work with my supervisor (who has ironically moved to Sydney).

What I wanted to say was please bear with me and don’t forget about Mhalwae. I know I’ve lost a lot of readers during this time but I will be back and posting regularly when all this PhD nonsense is done.

I have taken pictures for some posts so I am hoping to update a few times while I am in Australia (for ten weeks!). I have pictures for ten posts so hopefully I can update once a week while I’m there.

Here are five reasons to keep reading Mhalwae!

Anyway, check it out if you’re interested. I know that I like to peruse some of the other characters living in Lothere. I have made a lot of the people living on Mhalwae but still have quite a lot to go. I’ll put up more pictures when I have taken nice ones of some of the other families hanging around. Btw… I know there are a lot of girl babies! I was a bit worried for a minute that my births were skewed for some reason but then I did a quick count and there have actually only been three more female than male births in the kingdom. I guess we are just going to have a lot of farmer’s daughters hanging around. Thaell and Derrin aren’t going to have too much trouble finding an eligible wife.

So, I am finally back from Turkey. My family and I managed to get completely caught up in the whole volcanic ash cloud thing. And while I thought the volcano was cool (and I don’t blame it at all, it is just doing its thing), it did take me five extra days to get back in an epic overland journey. It took two extra days in Istanbul, 5hr at a bus station in the middle of the night, 40hr on the bus from hell: no toilet and my mum puking through the backroads of Romania, overnight in Munich with 5hr of sleep in a bed, 18hr train to Stockholm with 5hr sitting on the floor, ~700 euros, 8 countries, 6 passport stamps, ~3700km. Feh. It’s really good to be home.

At the moment my parents are staying with me (I was going to have a few days before they came here after Turkey and was planning to write something then but didn’t happen). Not sure if I will get time while they are here to write anything.

But good news in that Turkey was absolutely fantastic. Despite the drama of our return we had the most marvelous trip. The richness of the culture and history there is unbelievable. Delicious food too. And I am so inspired again and just itching to get back to Mhalwae. Also to catch up with everyone’s blogs. I am so far behind!

So, just thought I should update you. I have the internet again now! It’s so so good to be back!!!

I haven’t abandoned the world of sims blogging. Things have just been so unbelievably hectic and crazy this last few months. We found at we were getting evicted and then had to find a new place to live pronto. The way that Stockholm is set up doesn’t make this easy at all. Apparently on average it takes 105 weeks to find an apartment in Stockholm, whereas other European cities such as Berlin and Madrid it is more like 5! I had no idea it would be so tough so we spent a lot of time panicking and desperately calling people (it seems like most people give their advertised apartments to the first person they talk to) and viewing apartments. It really is a complete shambles, with people behaving badly and everyone out for themselves. But we hit the jackpot just in time and got a last minute student apartment (if you happen to be the first person who clicks on the website you get it… so lucky!). So the last few months have gone by in a panic of apartment-finding and moving (we give up our old room on Sunday).

On top of all of this I had a deadline for two conference papers (one which I am the first author, and one the second). So I have been barely keeping my head above water and I have been so exhausted and uninspired in what little spare time I have had. And the snowstorms have been so bad here that our internet was down on and off for three days including our server so I hope none of you had trouble accessing the site.

But things are looking up now anyway. We have a lovely new apartment with our own kitchen and two little gardens. It seems like it will be an inspiring place to write in and on the way to work the other day Eallair started talking to me finally again (sounds weird, but you know what I mean!). Internet is back in wireless format, though appears to be permanently broken on the desktop (which really needs a visit from Dell anyway). So it looks like there will be a windows reinstall which mean reinstalling the sims. I have a pictures for a few chapters and hope to get to them soon, but new ones will have to wait till the computer is fixed.

So that is basically what has been going on with me. Sorry for being so silent. I hope things are well with you all and I will be paying a visit to your sites to catch up very soon.

Happy simming!

I thought this year for a bit of fun I would try and cast Mhalwae the movie (or really I think it would have to be a TV series). I picked my best ideas. Let me know if you guys had any suggestions!

First of all I found this guy, Gabriel Aubry for Eallair. He isn’t an actor but a male model, but I think he has the right looks.

I love Eyal Podell from Defying Gravity (so mad that show got cancelled) as Lochan. His hair is a bit darker but he has those piercing eyes and after watching him as Efram in DG he can so do dark and tortured.

I really don’t like Keira Knightely but I think she would be perfect for Isaura. She already looks sickly and frail… just slap on a bit more dark makeup under her eyes and she is good to go.

I am in love with Kevin McKidd after I saw him as Dr Hunt in Greys Anatomy. I think he would be a great Garrick. He is all huge and muscular and looks a bit older and give him a bit bigger beard and some long hair and there he is.

This one was a toughie. In my head, the only character I had ever cast before was Drew Barrymore as Cindra. But Drew is getting a bit older know and while she would have been perfect before with her cheeky smile and her chubby cheeks I am not so sure anymore. But then I found Abbie Cornish. Now if that girl can do a cheeky grin she IS Cindra. She even has the same turned up nose! I put a picture in of Drew at the end anyway for comparison.

Daniel Day-Lewis is going to have to take a break from playing Egelric in Lothere and be my Radomir. I think he could do it. He has a big old nose. He is kind of dark and twisted and rough. The other option was Eric Bana. He did a great job as Henry in The Other Bolyen Girl and I think he could pull of the hulking, looming aspect of Radomir but also the miserable, sad little boy.

And this girl, Tatyana Ali is perfect for Hepsie. It seems she used to be on the Fresh Prince of Bel-air but now I want to scoop her up for Mhalwae.

So that’s all for now. I had some other ideas but not as good as these ones. I hope you all have a beautiful Christmas and a brilliant New Year!

Once again, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. I have just been rather down and lethargic and writer’s blocky. The lack of sunlight really does suck. Looking back on my chapter writing I see that apart from the first November (when I had just started writing) I am woeful at writing during this time of year. So sorry I have been absentee yet again. The three day posting rule fell apart a bit but I am planning to restore it when my energy comes back. It is snowing now so it will be a bit lighter and prettier.

And I am feeling a bit excited and inspired again though. One of my photos on flickr is going to be published in the Insight Guide to Cracow! And I mentioned to the contact there that I am interested in travel writing and after taking a quick look at my travel blog said that it was worth a shot to send along some examples of my travel writing that he would forward to the Editorial Department for me. Now, I am not delusional. I know that most likely they will not be interested. And of course I still have a PhD to finish! But still… it feels like a door and it has given me the hope that maybe there will be more opening and there is a chance I can actually do the thing I love (well the other thing… I am not forgetting you Geology my first love).

So once again… big apologies. But I will be back on track once I get this travel writing together and sent. I feel happy again. And Christmas is coming so I will get a bit of a break and more writing time. And cookies.

If you are interested at all and want to check out my other blog, my travel blog, with sparkles (which definitely doesn’t get as much of my attention as Mhalwae does, but I post there occasionally) it is here.

And just to keep you interested here is a sneak preview from a few chapters away…

Gena had sent her down to the beach. A blanket of stark white covered the yellowed crystals of sand, the canvas of the beach with its ripple marks and crab holes painted over with a thick, dripping, white brush. She could feel the ice crunching beneath her timid feet, thousands of icy crystals welding together with the pressure of footsteps and beneath them the grinding sand.

He was here, staring out at the drifting ice floes as they migrated slowly in the churning current. Near to the shore they had stuck fast to the beach, great chunks of ice filled with silvery bubbles, frozen in place as they swirled and danced. She knew him by his stance, the worried slump of his shoulders, the curve of his spine, his unruly hair with small, white flakes of snow tangled up in it.

She took a deep breath and walked to stand beside him, the snow squeaking softly beneath her booted feet.

“Hello Arran,” she murmured, her heart in her mouth.

“Igrayne,” he nodded, crossing his arms over his chest as though he were forming a protective barrier for his own hurting heart.

She turned to him and he followed suit, uncrossing his arms and laying them stiffly beside his body. He stood, straight as a board now, his chest slightly puffed out as though accepting his fate and readying himself for the wounding blow.

“Arran, there’s something I need to be saying to you. I… I wanted to apologise for the things I said to you that day at the church.”

Arran stared at her, his swampy eyes narrowed.

“I was cruel and I hurt you. And I’m that sorry for it.”

She meant to continue but Arran interjected, “No, I won’t be listening to yew anymore. I thought yew were being different but yer just the same as always. Only want to laugh at me and hurt me. Well I won’t stand fer it Igrayne I simply won’t.”

She had never seen him so angry. All the times she had teased him or been cruel, all the times she had whispered and laughed he had only bowed his head and taken it as wave after wave of poison flowed from her stupid mouth. What had she expected? He had offered her his heart and she had stomped on it with her tiny, booted foot. For all she knew she had shattered it on that icy afternoon.

“Arran,” she squeaked, her heart creaking inside her chest, like the ice floes trying to break free from the rocks.

“No, don’t yew even try it. I won’t be fooled by yew again. I won’t,” his mouth was set in a hard line, his stiff arms on his hips as he stared at her defiantly.

“I know what yew mean to be doing. Yer trying to win back my trust so yew can just go and do it again. I know yer type and I’m done with yew. Yew hear me. I’m done. We’re not friends anymore. We’re nothing. So yew go an’ laugh with yer little red-haired friend about that if yew want but that’s the last yew hear me.”

Her heart cracked and broke loose, floating alone out into the frigid ocean where it would finally melt into nothingness. It was so empty and cold out there, fathoms of deep water beneath and her spluttering, waterlogged heart drowning while silver fish nibbled at its meaty mass.

“Oh Arran, I’m so sorry,” she cried miserably and the tears came pouring out.

They splashed hot and salty over her freezing cheeks, stinging as they evaporated in the chill air. She covered her face in shame but she could not stop them, slipping, dripping, sliding down her face one after another, leaving tiny sizzling holes in the snow at her feet.

She had ruined everything. She had laughed at him one too many times and now he would never, never forgive her. What right had she to even ask it?

“Igrayne?” she heard his confused voice between her racking sobs.

“Is this part of the joke?” he asked, but he sounded dubious.

She wept all the harder, her entire body shaking uncontrollably. She was entirely miserable, humiliated and all she wanted to do was run but she was so caught up in sobbing that she couldn’t do anything but cry until her eyes hurt.

“Igrayne?”

She heard the squeak of his shoes on the snow as he tiptoed beside her.

“What’s all this about then? Has something happened?”

Oh he didn’t understand at all.

“I… oh…,” she gulped and hiccuped between sobs, “There was Illewen… and the… baby. Thought… they needed… a husband.”

She swallowed, tears running thickly down her throat, dripping over her soggy heart, “I wanted you. But… she needed you. And so…”

“And now… Kelgar asked her to marry him. I thought…”

“Yew thought I might forgive yew fer bein’ cruel,” Arran said softly and she felt his warm arms wrapping around her trembling body, pulling her close against him.

“I did it for them Arran. Lord knows I… I didn’t want to. Oh… I’m so unhappy.”

“You poor little’ mite. Here I was bein’ that mean to yew an’ yew were just tryin’ to do the right thing,” she felt his chuckle, warm against her arm, “ didn’t yew think maybe I should get some say in the matter?”

“I’m so sorry Arran,” she shivered.

“Come on now Igrayne, yew know I can’t stay mad at yew. Now stop this cryin’ let me see yew.”

“No, you can’t! I must look simply dreadful.”

He pried her hands gently away from her tear-streaked face and tilted it up towards him with a careful hand.

“Well, yer nose is a bit red,” he laughed, his smile warm as he gazed at her “but yer still beautiful.”

And then he kissed her and it was the dearest, sweetest moment of her life.

Igrayne stirred fretfully. In her dream she was running after a tiny squirrel, its brown, bushy tail waving indignantly in the air like a fluffy flag. The squirrel has stolen some nuts from her, dark chestnuts which she had just finished roasting over a bright blue fire. Just as she was about to pop the mouthwatering treat into her mouth, a tiny clawed paw had swiped it from her. Now she was running, her blonde pigtails streaming out behind her, the landscape tilting under her feet.

She heard a sniffling cry. The squirrel turned to her and tears were running from its pokey, black eyes. It snuffled dramatically, taking a tiny bite from her chestnut leaving a neat crescent of teeth marks.

It was crying. Someone was crying.

She woke with a start, the room dark and chilly. Someone was crying. She struggled up into a sitting position.

It wasn’t a squirrel, it was Maire. Igrayne squinted into the darkness and could see her perched on the edge of the bed. She wiped her hand across her nose with a miserable snuffle and continued to softly sob.

Igrayne’s heart lurched. What had happened? Had someone else been killed? Who could it be if Maire was crying. What if it was Arran?

“Mairey sweet, what’s wrong?” she called softly, “has someone been hurt?”

A dreadful thought occurred to her, “are you hurt? Let me light a candle.”

She fumbled in the darkness, her hands sliding up the slender length of the waxy candle, her fingers plucking at the wick. The room flickered then brightened.

She rushed over to Maire’s side, eyes roving over her body looking for cuts and scratches, her hands carefully sliding over her friend’s scrawny limbs feeling for lumps. Maire continued to weep into her curled up fists.

“Maire love, please tell me what happened?” she murmured fretfully.

“It’s Kelgar.”

Oh God, not dear sweet Kelgar. Not him.

“Is he dead?” she choked.

“No… I wish he were that bastard” she squeaked, “he’s asked that Illewen to marry him. And she’s gone and said yes.”

“I thought he was for me,” she wailed tears trickling from her scrunched up eyes.

Relief washed over Igrayne. Nobody was hurt. She held Maire close, as the small girl hiccupped and sobbed, stroking her head, smoothing back her bristling hair.

When her weeping had subsided she squirmed out of Igrayne’s arms. She reached out a wondering hand to her friend.

“But Graney… yew know what this means don’t yew? Arran… he don’t have to marry Illewen no more.”

Igrayne struggled to process this thought. She had spent the last weeks trying so hard not to think of him and when she did reminding herself that he was not for her. And now. Now he really could be.

“He won’t forgive me,” she muttered.

She had treated him abominably. And he had trusted her. Cared for her. How could she go to him now? He would never want her.

“Yes he will Graney, he will. Yer a good girl. Yew just need to explain to him why yew did it,” Maire’s green eyes were shining in the darkness, wet with tears but full of determination, “Yew’ve got to go to him Graney. He is fer yew. He has to be. One of us has got to be happy otherwise it will just be too much fer me to bear.”

Igrayne nodded slowly, she would go to him and beg for forgiveness. It was all she could do.

Oh, but the look on his face.

“Grane, will yew sleep in my bed tonight. It’s so cold and I’m awful sad,” Maire whispered, her lower lip trembling.

“Well come on then, will yew put yer nightdress on,” Igrayne laid down on the narrow single bed.

“I don’t want to. It‘s too cold.”

Maire curled up beside her, resting her head on Igrayne’s arm. Maire’s body was warm and soft against her side and she smelt like the kitchen, woodfire smoke, grease and cooked meat. It wasn’t an unpleasant smell, it was the smell that Igrayne had grown up with most of her life.

“Yew’ve got to promise me Grane. One of us has to be happy,” Maire murmured sleepily.

She pulled the blankets up over them, “Alright Maire, I promise.”