Cindra sees a world distorted
25th December 1102
Cindra stood before the house willing herself to take the few steps down the hill and knock on the door. She didn’t understand what was keeping her frozen in place. Inside the house was dark, the windows gaping like sunken eyes, the shutters flung open, eyelids without the lashes. The first light of the morning was dark, casting shadows below the eaves and licking gloomily at the wooden palings.
The morning was icy, great gusts of frigid air rattling through the valley, rolling up from the sea as though carried haphazardly on the crests of raging waves. Cindra was shivering with the cold, her plump body barely covered by the velvety folds of her evening gown. It was cut low, to expose two soft white crescents of flesh which were now freckled with goosebumps. She had not had enough time to get her cloak, in fact had not even remembered such a thing was necessary as she rushed her way past Radomir, desperate to tear herself from the sorrowful look in his solemn grey eyes. And now that grey surrounded her, the whole sky filled up with it as though his sadness were enough to colour the whole world.
And she could not bring herself to knock on the door. It was not that she was scared he would hurt her. No, what she was most afraid of was his eyes, his solemn blue eyes that seemed to peer down into the depths of her soul. If she saw them then she would know that the baby was his. And if that were true then he was not the man she had thought.
Abruptly she stumbled down the incline to the door and began to hammer on its wooden planks, so hard that it rattled alarmingly and she grazed the skin of her knuckles.
Inside the house there was a thumping noise, then a shuffling and the door was suddenly thrown wide. She found herself staring in the half light of morning, directly into those very blue eyes and she was left, without a doubt of the paternity of Valeriya’s baby.
When she tore her gaze away she noticed with dismay that the priest was barely clothed, his pale body gleaming in the light of dawn, his skin waxy like an unlit candle. Her eyes trailed unwillingly down his throat where the wooden cross usually hung reassuringly, following the trail of dark hairs down the centre of his chest to his belly and below. Where her husband was strongly muscled his limbs were lean, his chest weak. While her husband had great clumps of coarse, red hair growing liberally over his chest, Harndall had only a scattering here and there, like huddles of darkly clothed mourners at a funeral. Where Garrick’s shoulders were broad, Harndalls’ were narrow. Used to the body of a man, beside her husband Harndall was almost still a boy.
Realising she was staring she suddenly looked away but Harndall did not seem self-conscious which both reassured and disturbed her.
“Your Ladyship,” he murmured softly, his voice heavy from recent sleep, “is something the matter? Your husband?”
He saw her uncomfortable averted eyes, “Forgive my state of undress, I had not awoken yet. The Christmas party went on rather longer than I am used to staying up.”
“I need you to come with me,” she mumbled, not looking up.
“Certainly, let me just put some clothes on and I will be right with you.”
He gazed at her suddenly, “You are not wearing a cloak. Please come in, you must be freezing.”
“I will only be a moment.”
She nodded, following him meekly inside. The room was quite large or maybe only seemed so because it was so devoid of objects. In the corner there was a small fire, the nearly spent coals thankfully giving off a small amount of heat that wrapped around her like a comforting blanket. Other than that there was a washbasin and some barrels. In the middle of the room there was a table with two chairs, covered with books, a bottle of wine and a candle with long stalactites of creamy wax frozen in the act of dripping.
She stared out the window, from the inside looking out through the hollow eyes. The world was grey and solemn, wavering slightly from the imperfections in the glass. The trees were bent into strange shapes, the little light there was diffuse and murky. She wondered if maybe she too was peering out at the world through a distorted gaze. Things might not be as they seemed and perhaps the answer was in the clear, blue eyes that stared right through her.
She jumped in fright as a cold hand tapped her shoulder. Feeling her stiffen it immediately retracted.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Harndall murmured.
She spun around to face him, “Oh, no bother. Shall we go?”
“Your Ladyship, you couldn’t possibly tell me what this is about could you. Is somebody ill?”
“We haven’t got time Father. I will explain on the way.”
“On the way to where?”
“We’re going to the Rawtharns.”
Hmmm… so Harndall is going to hide out with Engin and Darina. I’m not sure what to make of that, mainly because I’ve never been really sure of Engin and Darina themselves. On one hand, they’re sly enough to keep him hidden, but on the other hand, they’re also sly enough to rat him out if they decide they want to get into Radomir’s good graces. They probably won’t do that, but if I recall correctly, Darina does have ambitions for her children to marry the children of the nobility, and that would be a good way to get one potential future father-in-law for one of her children to maybe consider the idea.
I suppose we shall wait and see
The Rawtharns, what? Did not see that coming!
Um, what was I about to say? Oh yes, are we going to get to see Harndall’s reaction to what Cindra has to say? Because I REALLY wanted to see that. I have a feeling he is going to be totally NUH-UH! Just as dazed as everyone else. (I have a hope, anyway… guilty as he seems I don’t think he ACTUALLY did that. Surely he couldn’t have DONE IT and then thought it was only a dream… even though those dreamish sequences were mighty lifelike…)
Anyway I am really curious to see what Cindra has planned in general. Did she come up with a plan on her own, or did the ladies make up their minds together and send her forth with specific instructions? Why doesn’t she tell her husband or someone? What is going to happen??? It’s a page-turner, and there’s no page to turn yet! *frets*
Cindra does not seem too keen on Harndall right now, which makes her behavior even more difficult to fathom. It’s not like she’s all “Must save poor Harndall from evil Radomir!” I suppose it’s because he’s the only priest they have (right?) and they NEED to save him, for better or for worse. Even if she is definitely convinced of the worst.
Does the baby really look THAT MUCH like him? Baby eyes are weird-colored anyway. I mean I’m sure you know whose it is, Verity, but is it so obvious that they can’t work up some reasonably convincing shadow of a doubt? Like Maud with her “oh he looks like my father”? *frets some more*
I do love the pinchable faces Cindra makes by the way. I just can’t get enough of her.
Okay, so there is a reason that she is hiding him at the Rawtharn’s (I did spend a bit of time thinking this out). Basically there are a number of places that Radomir will think to look first. Of course Harndall’s house, the castle, the ships. At the moment there are not a lot of places Harndall could hide (since not a lot has been built). Radomir would obviously think of the Cade’s house, and the Ulcar’s place is very close to the castle. Cindra thinks (and me too!) that Radomir would probably not think to look at the Rawtharn’s (maybe not at all, or if so not till later on in the game).
He is not going to be camping out there for weeks or anything. After Harndall is safely squirreled away Cindra is going to get some help from the menfolk. She could have gone straight to one of the men for help, but there was the chance that Radomir discovered the baby while she was gone and went after Harndall before help came. So she will be finding some help straight away and the men will deal with the problem after that. The ladies didn’t come up with a plan further than “get Harndall hidden”, but Cindra is a clever girl and she knows they need the help of the men, stat!
We will see Harndall’s reaction. I am not sure if it will be from his POV though but it will be very clear even if viewed through someone else’s eyes.
Cindra is completely confused right now. She doesn’t want to see Harndall hurt, not just because he is the priest, but she doesn’t want to see anyone hurt even if they did something bad. I think she is so confused because she also doesn’t want to believe that the baby is his, but then it looks so alarmingly like him (he has rather uncommon eyes). I think the unease among the women is also that much greater because there have been so many rumours flying around that something was going on between Valeriya and the priest that though most would have fervently denied before, when they are suddenly presented with a baby that looks remarkably like him it is a little bit more difficult to dismiss those rumours. It is like having something you suspected though you felt kind of nasty for thinking it suddenly confirmed. And you are like, ha I knew it! I think this is particularly true for Lisbet’s reaction, while Cindra and Hepsie are more willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.
I hope that explains some of the stuff that is going on a bit. I am glad you guys are asking so many questions, because some things that made sense to me evidently didn’t come through in the story. I really appreciate the comments because it is highlighting to me how I should improve my story. So thanks!
Maybe I have put too much stock in how much the baby looks like him (I didn’t think of the fact that babies eyes are so much darker when they are born… whoops). In the next few chapters there will be a bit more to go on…