“I just can’t quite believe she’s so small”, Lisbet mused, cradling the tiny infant against her shoulder.

Eidel was making small snuffling noises through her open mouth as she squirmed against her. Lisbet sighed, hoping fervently that she wasn’t about to spit up again. She did not have many gowns that fit her swollen body, and her other was already spattered with milk splodges which Eidel had burped up after her last feeding. And she had forgotten to bring a cloth to cover her shoulder with in case it happened again.

She softly patted Eidel’s back whispering into her tiny shell-shaped ear, “Please be a dear and don’t spit up on your Ma again”.

Cindra giggled, hoisting Atholt into the air, “I know. They always seem so very tiny at that age don’t they. You remember what Atholt looked like, he was as wrinkled and tiny as a dear little raisin. I could’ve have eaten him up in one bite”

She gazed at the baby speculatively, “You wouldn’t think it to look at him now though, would you?”.

The baby gave her a gummy smile, chuckling breathily. He waved his chubby arms frantically, kicking his legs with all his might.

“I mean would you just look at this fat little tummy”, she lifted him up to her face, kissing and blowing raspberries on his round belly.

He squealed in delight, desperately patting at his mother’s head with his waving hands, his legs pedaling in the air.

He was such a happy baby. All Eidel seemed to do was cry till her face was a squishy red blob and then burp up, bubbly milk all over Lisbet. Lisbet felt guilty for wishing she could have a wet nurse, but it didn’t matter anyway. There just wasn’t the possibility.

And it wasn’t that she didn’t love her daughter. She did. She could not help but look at her in awe, marvelling at the tiny fingers and toes and her husband’s soft grey eyes blinking up at her from the baby’s cradle.

She was just completely exhausted. Eidel had such bad colic and it was lucky if she slept an hour without hearing the trembling high-pitched wail starting up from the cradle. Hepsie had told her that soon things would be better, that Eidel would start sleeping through the night but Lisbet was beginning to despair that it would never happen.

“Give Eidel a nice smile like you just showed me”, Cindra giggled, turning the baby towards Lisbet and her daughter.

Eidel screwed up her face into a tight red ball and began to wail. Atholt looked at her in horror, trying to shrink back to the comfort of his mother’s soft breast.

Lisbet stroked Eidel’s face, wiping away the tears and hoisited her up onto her shoulder again until the baby’s crying subsided.

“Trying to play matchmaker with our children already Cindra”, she asked with a wry smile.

“Oh… no, well it would be so very sweet don’t you think?”, she grinned blushing.

“Somehow I think your husband might have higher aspirations for little Atholt than the daughter of a knight”, Lisbet had not meant to sound so bitter.

“Oh, let’s not think about that now, I can’t bear the thought of Atholt growing up to be a big hairy man. I want him to stay my chubby little baby forever”, Cindra hugged her son tightly against her ignoring his uncomfortable wriggling.

There was a knock at the door.

“Oh, that must be Igrayne. Come in dear”.

“Good day yer Ladyships”, Igrayne said shyly, peeking around the door.

Lisbet grimaced then hastily smoothed her features into an indifferent smile. Cindra had warned her about the girls face, but it was more of a wreck than she had expected. Lines of pale new skin were tugging at the corner of her lip. She suspected Igrayne’s loose hair was hiding the worst of it too, she caught a hint of ragged puckered skin peeking from beneath the curtain of golden hair that was flowing down Igrayne’s shoulders. Her skin had lost its ruddy sun-kissed complexion, even the freckles had begun to fade from the long weeks spent indoors. Her green eyes were tired and surrounded by dark circles like tiny tendrils of moss growing deep in the shadow of the towering canopy.

She was suddenly glad Cordell had escaped with only a clean cut across his cheek. She would hate to see his dear face mangled so.

“Oh! Is this bein’ little Atholt then”, she cried, bending over to tug at his toes, “Why, isn’t he a chubby little thing!”

“We were just saying the very same thing!”, Cindra replied with a giggle, “I’m glad you like him though. Hold him for a minute”.

She thrust the baby into Igrayne’s arms. By the way the girl was juggling the baby, trying to support his head as he squirmed in her arms, Lisbet could see she had never held one before. She knew exactly what that felt like. She well remembered the first time she had held a baby, her sister’s firstborn scrunching it’s face up into a wrinkly, red ball and wailing at her. She had been terrified that it would simply fall to pieces in her hands, so tiny and fragile was it. And now she had her own and it was, if possible even tinier and more fragile.

“Oh you don’t have to worry about his head dear, once they get to a certain age they can support it themselves and Atholt’s neck is definitely fat enough to hold up the weight”, Cindra said, turning to the chest of drawers and rummaging around inside tossing gowns this way and that, “Now… where is it”.

“Beeee”, Atholt squealed, happily clutching two big fistfuls of Igrayne’s long hair and pulling as hard as he could.

“Ah, here we go”, she tossed a gown onto the bed and began to disentangle Igrayne from Atholt’s grasping paws, “Give me this big lump. It’s time for his nap”.

She desposited the baby into the cradle and turned to Igrayne with her arms spread wide.

“So my dear, Mistress Rawtharn is already finished with your new dress, and I thought you might like to try it on”.

“Oh, yes that would be bein’, I mean that would be lovely”, Igrayne stuttered.

“I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to put Eidel in with Atholt, she’s finally sleeping and my arms are aching that much”, she peered down into the cradle.

“You wouldn’t believe it but Atholt’s already asleep!”

“Just like his father”, Cindra’s face went momentarily dark like a cloud crossing before the sun and then she grinned again and winked at Lisbet, “just you watched he keeps his hands to himself. They’re a bit too young to marry”.

Lisbet flopped down on the bed with relief., “God knows, I ache all over. And I’m that tired I think I could fall asleep right here sitting up”.

Cindra came to sit beside her as Igrayne changed into the dress.

Lisbet gazed enviously at the young woman’s body as she stripped down to her shift. Her stomach was trim and flat beneath the thin fabric, her breasts pert. Lisbet ran her hands over her own rippling belly. She could feel the sagging weight of her breasts on the back of her wrists.

“I used to have a fine body like that”, she whined, “my stomach was flat too! When will it come back?”

“Oh you’ll get it back honey, it always feels the worst this first month”, Cindra replied soothingly.

It was well and good for Cindra to say, but then she still looked like a round little butterball. Lisbet thought she had scarcely changed with her pregnancy, whereas she had used to be thin and lithe, and now she felt fat and lumpy. And it was the strangest thing to squeeze out a baby the size of Eidel and still have this round swollen belly. To know that she was suddenly empty inside, a bit hollow cavity and yet it was still there bulging on the outside. She felt disgusting. It was no wonder Cordell had not bedded her since the baby was born. Of course they had both been too exhausted to do anything but sleep in the short intervals when Eidel was not crying. But still.

And now that she though about it she remembered that he had wanted to a few nights before and it had been she that refused. And he didn’t think her swollen breasts and round belly ugly, he had praised them and told her she was beautiful. Still it did not help, she still felt disgusting.

“Oh you look beautiful!”, Cindra cried in delight and Lisbet looked up to see that Igrayne had wriggled into the dress.

It fit perfectly, the heavy folds hugging her trim hips and then flowing graciously to the floor. The shining golden trim matched the colour of her hair beautifully. There was no doubt about it, Mistress Rawtharn was a talented seamstress. Perhaps when her body was back to the way it had been Lisbet would commission her to make her a dress. She still had some material. If her body ever returned to normal, she thought with a sigh.

“Oh oh, I know!”, Cindra clapped her hands in excitement, “I can put your hair up too and show you how to wear it nicely”.

“But won’t my scars show then”, Igrayne asked softly.

“Oh you poor dear heart. They are not so very bad and they are fading every day. And I promise you nobody is going to notice any scars with a body like yours poured into a dress like that”.

Lisbet felt an guilty ache for the poor girl. While her body would return to approximately its original shape, Igrayne would wear those scars for the rest of her life, “Don’t worry love, Cindra is very good at this. There’s nothing she loves better than to do someone’s hair and have a good gossip”.

“Oh well then, I guess I’ll have to be doin’ my best with the gossipin’ too then, though it’s like to be awful hard for me”, Igrayne replied with a naughty snicker.

“See Lisbet, I told you. She’ll do just fine with us. Now hold still”, she began to part Igrayne’s hair.

Lisbet leaned her head against that backboard of the bed. Perhaps she would just close her eyes for a moment…

“Come now, I’m done! Come and look at yourself in the mirror”, Cindra wrapped her arm around Igrayne’s tugging her to her feet.

She had wound Igrayne’s hair into a pretty knot, pulling her hair down to partly cover the scarred side of her face. It did not do much to hide the torn skin, but they young woman looked beautiful nonetheless. Suddenly she had transformed from a ragged, messy kitchen maid, to a distinguished lady’s maid. Once again Cindra had worked her wonders.

She planted Igrayne in front of the mirror. Lisbet saw the young girl’s look of surprise at her appearance reflected in the mirror.

“You look beautiful”, Cindra whispered.

“That’s for sure Igrayne. The menfolk aren’t going to know what’s hit them the next time you saunter by”, Lisbet called from the bed.

She could not help it, she was jealous. She couldn’t imagine men’s eyes turning to watch her anymore as her lumpy figure waddled past them, with a shrieking baby perched on her dimpled hip.

“Yes, you look simply delicious. I don’t think you’ll have any trouble attracting whichever man you want. Speaking of which, have you got your eye on anyone in particular”, she waggled her eyebrows comically, “Oh do tell Igrayne. I am simply dying to know and then I can help you catch him”.

“Oh well Yer Ladyship, I dunno… there ain’t bein’ than many men to choose from after all are there”, Igrayne replied blushing pink.

“There is someone isn’t there! Oh who is it Igrayne, you simply must tell me. And please, do call me Cindra. Your ladyship sounds so stuffy and formal”.

The door suddenly swung open and Garrick stumbled in, grumbling and rubbing his head. Lisbet could see there was a freshly bleeding cut at his hairline.

He looked up in surprise, as he noticed his room was full of women.

“Sorry ladies, I didn’t mean to disturb you”, he mumbled gruffly.

“And I’m sorry Garrick, I seem to have taken your place in the bed”, she said with a congenial smile rising to her feet.

“Come Igrayne, we should be leaving them in peace”, she leant down to pick up her sleeping daughter, “How about you bring Atholt and we continue our gossiping elsewhere and let these two have some alone time”.

She knew that Cindra and Garrick were barely speaking these days and she was desperate for her friends to be happy again. Cindra hid it well, but at moments when she though noone was looking it made Lisbet almost cry just looking at her little crumpled face.

“You kids be nice to each other”, she said and carefully shutting the door behind her.

Arwaduhn, Tadhgar