Before him lay a crumpled figure, her limbs skewed at odd angles, her plain homemade dress bunching around her legs, golden hair draping softly over a beautiful face.

Smears of blood stained her perfect face, dribbling from her nose, flowing over the soft curves of her lips and rolling down her cheek. Tiny white flowers stood guard around her fallen body, their faces defiant as they clustered around her.

“Nell… oh my poor little Nelly”, he murmured, kneeling by her side, his hand gently stroking her arm. Maybe she was just asleep, maybe she would wake up if he shook her hard enough.

But he knew she would not, he remembered this night from before, she would not wake because it didn’t end like that. She would never wake again, forever sleeping beneath a blanket of tiny white flowers, the same flowers she had loved to pick and weave into her flowing golden curls. He had lived this night before, over and over in his dreams, each night shaking at the limp body until his own teeth had chattered in his mouth.

He knew that it would not work, so tonight he was gentle. He only wanted to hold her a little before all the warmth left her body. He just wanted to be allowed to lie beside her. The nights were so cold and lonely without her darling body drowsing next to his.

He carefully wrapped his arms around her, dragging her drooping body into his lap. He leaned his head on hers, smelling the sweet scent of crushed flowers clinging to the soft strands. Her head lolled back heavily on his chest, warming all the way through the brittle web of his ribs, to his shivering heart.

He folded his hands around hers, interlocking his clumsy fingers with her neat, round ones. Oh, they were still warm.

“Oh Nelly my darlin’ Nell, I wish yew could be seeing the moon this night. She really is bein’ a fair sight and yew always did like her didn’t yew. Are you bein’ remembrin’ them nights we was still courtin’ and I used to be walkin’ yew on a well lit night like this ‘un”.

“An’ yew puttin’ yer little hand in mine, so warm, always bein’ so very warm”, he kissed her gently on the top of her head, “an’ they still are, god bless em’”.

He heard a faint whimper and then a felt stirring against his chest.

Arran’s heart swelled, pushing against his ribs so he thought they would crumble with the pressure.

“Oh Nelly… Nelly yer bein’ awake! Yew are!” he pulled her roughly to her feet, wrapping his arms tightly around her trembling body.

“I knowed it I did, if I was waitin’ enough nights then yew’d be wakin’, if I was patient and good yew’d come back to me and yew did! Oh yew did my little Nelly, my beautiful lovely Nell”.

She shuddered and pressed her hot, wet face to his neck and wept.

“Shhh now, don’t yew be cryin’ me lovely girl. Yer Arran’s here now and I won’t let nothin’ ever be hurtin’ yew again. Yew just let em’ try and see what happens to ‘em then”.

She held him tightly, her right hand trembling against the back of his neck. He longed for her to run her fingers through his hair, gripping it in her fists and pulling his mouth against her soft lips. But he would not rush, for now he was just happy to hold her in his arms again, to be held back. It had been so very long.

Suddenly she wrenched from his grasp and looked up at him, her face a mess of tears and blood, her nose running. He smiled down at her reassuringly as she gazed up at him with startled green eyes. Green eyes… now that was strange.

“Arran… Arran it’s bein’ me Igrayne, not Nell. Nell… Nell’s bein’ dead”, she whispered hoarsely,

Arran’s heart deflated, shrinking down to cling to the broken image he held there. It was not the same night, it was not Nell. He could not unmake his mistakes, it was done, she was gone and he would not see her again in this lifetime. Perhaps not even in the next. A single sob wrenched from his throat as Igrayne began to weep beside him, covering her bloodied face with her hands, the fingers on her right hand twisted and broken.

He put a trembling hand on her shoulder and pulled her against his chest, the comforting warmth as much for himself as it was for her.