A star falls
Hi guys… just a quick warning. This one is a bit violent and gory so if you think that sort of thing would upset you don’t read on and I can fill you in, in the comments later (just ask). Most of it will become evident in the following story.
Harndall slid out of her arms and onto the ground as a small figure thumped into her. She was so surprised at the interruption that the other woman managed to push her away from the priest.
“Leave him alone”, the woman shouted, her voice muffled by the snow.
Merila turned to face her. Ah yes. She remembered this one, Valeriya. This one’s husband had tried to force himself upon her. Well, she would just have to suffer for his sins, not too mention her own. Merila had been enjoying the taste of Father Harndall very much and she did not like to be disturbed when she hadn’t finished her meal.
Valeriya was gazing up at her in terror, her mouth wide open with shock. She watched as Merila slowly licked her lips, tasting Harndall’s sweet blood that was drooling from the corner of her mouth. Valeriya gasped in horror.
“Mella?”, she asked tentatively.
Then Valeriya looked down at Harndall who was moaning on the ground, leaning against the bench.
Merila could taste the fear rising from her in waves. It was intoxicating, the power she held over this frightened being. She would make it painful for this one.
She threw Valeriya bodily to the ground, jerking her up again and slapping her face with on open palm. Liking the feeling off this, the thud as her hand collided with the delicate face, she repeated with her fist closed. This was better even still.
She was disappointed that the woman was not screaming or trying to fight back. No matter how hard she hit her, her body was limp as a ragdoll’s. The peasant woman had writhed and shrieked when Cebrien and she had feasted upon her body. Cebrien had left her to finish on her own. He didn’t like to hear them scream saying it offended his sensibilities. But she did, oh how she did.
Harndall was different. She remembered he had been kind to her in life, and some small part of her did not want to cause him pain. She was almost glad this one had arrived. Now she would have her fun.
She stopped, holding the young woman upright before her.
“Why aren’t you crying bitch?”, she snarled.
Valeriya didn’t answer, only stared at her defiantly, her entire body trembling.
“I asked you a question whore! Answer me!”, she grabbed a fistful of the woman’s long, golden hair, yanking Valeriya’s head close to her face.
She leant down and murmured into her ear, “You’re going to die Valeriya. Not only that but he is too and there is nothing you can do about it. And what’s more you’re going to burn in hell for all the dirty sinful things you’ve done”.
“Now cry”, she whispered, her teeth sinking into the soft skin of the girl’s earlobe, causing her to cry out in pain.
She stood up and watched as Valeriya crumbled, burying her face in her hands and shaking silently, the only thing holding her upright, Merila’s iron grip on her waist.
This would not do, damn her if she would not weep and sob and gnash her teeth. Merila would make her scream.
Grasping the other woman’s hair again she tilted Valeriya’s head far back, listening to her moan in terror. She tore at the supple flesh on Valeriya’s neck, sinking her teeth deep into the jugular, the thrill of the woman’s thumping heart rushing straight through her rotted veins.
A shriek of agony ripped from the woman’s throat as Merila fed on her.
But something was wrong, the blood tasted sour and she began to feel slightly ill as it pooled in her decaying stomach. She pulled back from the throat, feeling dizzy. Perhaps the woman’s blood was tainted somehow, or perhaps she had simply fed too much for one night.
She threw the limp body to the ground, watching with glee as the blood from Valeriya’s wounds stained the snow red. Merila could not stay to watch them die, her stomach was churning and she must get below ground before the sun rose. The men would be out looking.
Valeriya managed to crawl over to Harndall’s side. The young priest was staring up at the sky, his eyes glazed, a drowsy smile on his face.
She patted weakly at his face and croaked, “Harndall… Harn..”, before collapsing at his side.
Harndall was gazing at the sky. There were so many stars up there. How had he never noticed it before.
He gasped in wonder as one appeared to fall from the heavens, plummeting towards the ground with a bright flash.
“Valeriya!”, he mumured sleepily, “Did you see that my girl?”
She didn’t answer him. Perhaps she had already gone to sleep. He knew she had, had a hard day what with Morven giving birth and all.
He would just quickly wake her to tell her about the falling star. He wanted to shake her gently, but he found to his surprise he could not move his arms.
“Valeriya… Valeriya… wake up love… wake up”, but he was sleepy himself and he found himself dozing off, his face buried in the warmth of her soft, golden hair.
Hi guys… here’s a comment from Pandora Moon that unfortunately didn’t make it onto the final backup that went over to the new site. So here it is:
Comment from Pandora Moon on Jul 26th posted under Gena waits in the dark:
Hi. The reason I haven’t been commenting lately is because I have been in Florida for two weeks.
I have read all the stories after this one but for some reason there no comment box on any stories after this one so I’m commenting here.
wow a lot has happened to the people of Mhalwae since I’ve been away!. I hope that Handrell and Valeriya don’t die on us or even worse become vampires!.
Keep Simming!.
See ya.
I am going to comment without rereading this, because the first time it left me shaken. Maybe it is for the best that comments were already closed at that point. I remember something about “feasting on her”… Maybe I am making it up, but if not, congratulations on haunting me for an entire week with a single sentence.
No, I don’t read much horror, and no, I don’t handle it well. Maybe next time I will take your warning a little more seriously, Verity.
Now I just want to pout and cry. Valeriya was too good to die, whatever she thought. And Harndall sitting there like a big lump. And I hate Mella now, and I wish they had killed her in her convent, or I wish Radomir had managed to have his way with her (though then I would like Radomir less, so maybe not). I know it isn’t anyone’s fault that they’re big-lumpish or evil now, but it still makes me unhappy.
I guess everyone is going to have to change the way they live. No more going outside alone. No more being anywhere alone. I’m not using Druze at the moment… makes me want to send him their way. Vampire vs. Elf Zombie death-match! Or maybe I will just send Bruuuuude!
Step aside, Harndall!
Sorry for freaking you out so much Lothere
. I didn’t realise my writing would even be able to have that effect on anyone. I have to admit I did sort of horrify myself a bit in the writing of it so maybe I should have been more cluey. I guess I have been reading a lot of horror lately so maybe I have been picking up a bit on that. I read an awful H.P. Lovecraft story the other night and I couldn’t sleep at all… tried to wake my boyf but he was dead to the world so I had to lie there with the light on being scared. I hope I didn’t scare you too much though.
I am like you… I will usually ignore the warning at the top because mostly it just makes me want to read the post more than I did before . I remember sort of wishing I had paid more attention with that post about Cat and Lar. I still can’t get some of those images out of my head every time I read a new post with Lar in it.
Maybe they do need Druze over here… although he wasn’t exactly the nicest of characters to the men if I remember rightly. Maybe having Druze would just make things a lot worse. I have a feeling Druze would probably kick Cebrien’s ass but then there would still be the leftover problem of Druze wandering about.
Yes send Brude! He is exactly what they need (or maybe just me).
All of my freaking out is only complimentary to your writing of course. The point of horror fiction (as far as I know) is to force people out of their comfort zone. My comfort zone happens to be quite narrow. I’m not saying you should tone it down! I’ll keep reading, every chapter, at least once.
But you’re right, the disclaimer at the top is like an invitation. Oooh this is gonna be good…
As a result I tend to use it only when it’s reeeally necessary, in the hope that the squeamish people will believe it when they see it. Sometimes people (I’m not saying you) seem to use it more as a cover-your-ass disclaimer on any and everything, with the result that it’s like crying wolf. I know I have younger teens reading my story, but I’m not writing for them specifically, and it’s up to them to be mature enough to handle it. But using a game to tell your story does tend to imply the contrary, I know.
I think I only put a disclaimer on 2 chapters: the Cat & Lar scene you mentioned (which remains the most difficult thing I ever wrote) and Sophie’s last encounter with her first husband. Even the latter was iffy for me… it wasn’t gory, but there was something disturbing about her weird exhileration, and the topic of domestic abuse itself is already sensitive. (As opposed to human-elf relations.)
I didn’t have one when Dre finished off Dasi, nor when Surr’s mom was killed. Nor even Eithne’s first meeting with you-know-whom, now that I think about it. Eh, interesting…
All that blathering to say that I hope that by “being more cluey” you don’t intend to change your writing style. I’m a poor litmus test, in spite of the above-mentioned chapters. I believe it is easier to write them (because you’re still in control) than read them.
From what I can remember (I might be wrong), I have used disclaimers on four chapters. I think three it was definitely well-placed, especially for this one since it was a pretty horrible. Then there was the one when Radomir beat Valeriya and I guess I put it there for a similar reason to you with Sophie… I thought Valeriya’s reaction was very unnerving and cold and of course the domesitic abuse can really upset people since it is very close to home for some people). The chapter were Arran found his dead wife probably upset me the most personally as the writer, but maybe other’s didn’t find it so bad.
The one I am not sure about was when Mella dreamt about the abbey and the dead nuns. I guess it was my first real horror chapter and I put the disclaimer up because of the actions against the nuns that were suggested. I guess it is a bit of a learning curve… there have been lots of fairly nasty chapters, that like you I didn’t deem a disclaimer necessary (Radomir trying to have his way with Mella etc.) .
But you have definitely been more sparing Lothere… I really agree with your choice of chapters though. You are really spot on… because when you think about it for example there was a very similar chapter with Leofwine and Affrais but you didn’t put a disclamier on that and I don’t feel like it disturbed me the way the Sophie Leofwine chapter did… guess there is a difference between escaping something like that and being forced to live it every day
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It is interesting which chapters we choose. I guess my general rule seems to be if I found it disturbing and it distressed me writing it then it probably needs a disclaimer. But sometimes I get upset about things other people can weather better so I don’t know. If you are right about it being easier to write them than read then this is definitely a good indicator of when a disclaimer is necessary.
Actually… I would be really interested in what your (and anyone else who wants to comment about it) opinion on the placement of my disclaimers has been (I will put links to the posts in this comment to make it easier to remind people if they want to remark). I am sort of trying to adjust this aspect to a certain extent (although as you said… I definitely don’t want to cry “macabre” everytime something happens… I would end up disclaiming before more than half of my chapters I think
. But I would like to know if people thought the disclaimers were well-placed or not.
And there ends another monster comment
I found the chapter with Arran Barran and his dead wife to be quite moving, but not really worthy of a disclaimer. She was dead, and it was distressing to our sense of empathy because we felt so bad for the guy and for Lochan, but it was not disturbing.
I agree with the Radomir & Valeriya one for basically the same reason as Sophie’s.
I forgot about the Ana and Leofwine chapter… that one did stress me quite a bit as a writer. I was trying to put a lot of sensory details in that chapter, and when they consist of being manhandled by a drunk and lewd (and pig-like) man, that can get skin-crawly. I actually found that some of the pictures in that chapter were disturbing in themselves. (No links for fear of comment spam filter, but chapter 1019 for those of you in the know.) I think a chapter like that deserves a disclaimer more than the death of Dasi, for example.
I agree with the Mella in the convent chapter too… the pictures in that one were gruesome.
And this chapter… definitely. I still kind of wish I had listened to it. (Feasting!) Though I would have missed a good chapter.
I can’t use the “if I find it disturbing then so will you” logic, because as I have abundantly stated, my tolerance for graphic sex and violence is quite low. (I was literally shaking by the time I finished Cat & Lar’s chapter, and I even knew that she wasn’t going to die.)
Therefore I have a “It’s a story for adults, suck it up” logic that I apply both to myself and to my readers, which is how chapters like Ana’s assault slip under the radar.
However, as I hinted above, the only place where I would consider a disclaimer necessary is if there’s something about it that’s truly disturbing, as in the kind of thing that could give you (or me, at least) nightmares.
Egelric finding Elfleda in the barn might have deserved one. Eithne’s encounter with the Black and Batty One might have (though he was gentle with her, relatively speaking). Even poor Ana might have.
I did not think Dasi’s death deserved one because the chapter was all about Lar’s reaction, and there was maybe only a single sentence where his throat was actually cut that counted as graphic. I think Arran Barran falls into this category.
And Brit’s wedding night didn’t get one because, semi-explicit as it was, it was just sex. Yicke outdoes me regularly in that department anyway.
So that’s my monster reply to the question. Now let’s see whether a long comment mentioning graphic and/or explicit sex, violence, assault, and even the word “suck” can make it past your spam filter…
Whoops… I meant Ana… no Affrais. I always get those two so mixed up
.
And I am so sorry about my spam filter… I am still a bit new to this whole blogging thing and I didn’t realise that it was eating so many comments until very recently (ie that real comments would get thrown in there too). And I also didn’t realise it was deleting all the “spam” comments once a month so I just found out recently how many comments seem to go there… all of Mao’s for some reason recently
. So I am now sure that comment you mentioned went there but I had some delete at the end of the month function turned on so it had already departed. I hope too many comments weren’t lost along the way 
. But I am diligently checking now so it won’t happen again… link away. And say suck as much as you like 
I am not surprised you were shaken after writing that chapter… I think my jaw had hit the table in horror after reading it. It is literally the chapter of any blog that has disturbed me the most and haunted my thoughts ever after. So well done! I have to say Yicke’s chapter with Gawen’s brother and that poor girl in the pool is up there too… I think it is made doubly disturbing by the realistic skins. Ugh… if you had put a realistic skin on Lar I think I would have vomited (or should I say retched, thrown up, spewed etc.).
And I see what you mean about poor old Arran Barran (i think the name is sticking btw
. Thanks for answering so frankly… I really appreciate your opinion.
I guess I agree with you about the Elfeda one… that absolutely horrified me too and made me cry so much. I couldn’t get it out of my head for ages… funny what an impact that one image made. But then again I would have totally read it anyway. I guess the disclaimer generally seems to work as more of a heads up than anything else. I don’t think Eithne with the black and batty needed one… not sure why… it wasn’t really violent or even that disturbing… maybe it isn’t so awful because he is so obviously not human. Although Lar is and elf so I don’t really know. Also he wasn’t trying to hurt her. ).
I am trying to see whether I can single-handedly make Arran Barran’s name stick.
I think you only lost one of my comments to the spam filter, which mainly contained a list of what men in Mhalwae and Lothere I found most attractive. So your loss, since you asked. I would probably make a different list by now anyway. Malcolm is blowing me away recently, in spite of the ugly nose and caterpillar brows. And Radomir was strangely compelling last time we saw him…
Are you using Akismet for your filtering? It has deleted over 5000 spam comments for me by now, and I am quite happy with it. Occasionally it does snag one of Aithne’s for some reason. I check it every day because I back up my database rather frequently and it’s stupid to backup hundreds of spam comments.
After this post with Valeriya (feeeeasting!), I would have to agree that Yicke’s pool scene was the most disturbing I’ve read so far. It was the poor girl’s first time, and it was going to be so special, and along comes this man who is such a predator… *shivers*
I took the pictures for that chapter with Elfleda weeks (in real time) before I got around to using it. I knew it was coming for so long. That was my first chapter where I really did anything the Sims were not supposed to do. I simply used moveobjects to make her stand out in space. Yes, I think I killed Elfleda mainly because I thought of a cool idea for taking a picture of her death. (Devin will want to strangle me if she reads this.)
That is a chapter I would like to redo since my picture-taking skills and my computer have both improved, but maybe it’s effective enough as it is. I’m afraid once I start re-doing things…
Wow…OMG…holy crap, and wow….
And oh no! Not Valeryia and Harndall. I hope they will. What beatiful, haunting, and awesome last three chapters Verity! I like the horror ones, usually when I read a disclaimer I am excited to see what happens, as well as apprehensive for any characters I like involved. I can’t wait to see what happened to them!
Yeah I have been using Akismet… I just wasn’t up with the whole checking thing. It does seem to work really well though.
I think redoing things is a bad idea (as I think you once said to me before)… keep going with the story… it is always a learning process and in a way it is kind of cool to go back and see how much better you get over time. And we want more story. But I agree it is very tempting to go back. I think if I do it will just to rezie the original pics so they aren’t so blurry… but then I want to keep going with the story so it might not happen. The pics aren’t that wonderful anyway (although at the time I was so proud with what I could make my sims do… but man… no gunmod lighting hack, no reaction tester, no insimenator, no hula and more and all the people snapped rigidly to the grid). I wonder what I will think in a year when I come back and look at these pics
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Thanks Tiana
and I am so with you on the disclaimers Tiana… they are like a big masssive invitation.
Yeah I’m pretty sure when I write my disclaimers I’m going to say, “S**t is about to go down, but you’ll want to read it anyway!”
Poor Valeriya. She must walk around with a giant target on her. Wonder what exactly made her blood sour to Mella/Mirela.
I love horror. I love being scared. The whole vampire/revenant thing is fascinating. Vampires have always been one of my favorite things (Anne Rice is a god to me). Fictional gore and violence don’t bother me a bit (real violence, not so much). I’m not easily grossed out. Disclaimers usually just build my anticipation for the chapter.
Poor Valeriya has been having a bit of a rough time hasn’t she
. I feel so bad when I am so mean to my sims too but it makes for an interesting story and sometimes they choose their own fate anyway.
I really love horror and being scared too… at the time. I don’t like it when I can’t sleep for a week afterwards (seriously I get totally freaked out… after I watched the ring I had to sleep in my sister’s room for like 5 days until she finally kicked me out because her boyfriend was going to stay over… awkward
. Still I couldn’t sleep even then… that movie scared me for months. It still scares me when I think about it. And yet I love that scared feeling. I must be a masochist.
I haven’t actually read any of Anne Rice’s books yet though I have seen the movies and I really love Interview with a vampire (has to be Tom Cruise’s only good movie
. I have to say I think it is a bit sad that she has decided that writing about vampires is evil. I mean, I don’t have a problem with her becoming religious but I really don’t see how writing stories about vampires is evil. I hear she isn’t going to write any more which is a shame I think.
I do get bothered by fictional gore and violence but also I find it sort of fascinating and I can’t stop reading even if I will regret it later.
The Vampire Chronicles are amazing, I highly recommend them. So is her triology about the Mayfair Witches and the Taltos, actually. Anne Rice is going to continue writing, but she’s going to stick to books about Jesus and Christian topics. She did say that she doesn’t think of her books as evil, but they are “dark fiction” like Dante’s Inferno, Paradise Lost, Dickens etc. She looks at her books as transformative stories, and they’re actually stories about outcasts on moral and spiritual journeys. She posted something lengthy on her website.
I’ve never seen The Ring. It’s on my list though. Nothing I’ve seen so far has caused me to lose sleep though. I think there must be something wrong with me.
I”ll check out what she said on her website. I just remembered seeing an interview with her when her new books about Christ were coming out and she didn’t seem very keen on her vampire chronicles anymore. But I might have got the wrong idea.
I don’t think there is something wrong with you… there is something wrong with me! I get too overly scared I think. Also, it takes different things to scare different people. I’m totally scared of ghost and monsters and stuff that isn’t real, whereas my mother is frightened of robber coming to her house (things it is probably way more valid to be scared of). Everybody has their own private fear.